Sunday 27 April 2014

9 Reasons Not to Flirt With The Other Woman, Starring Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton.

The Other Woman
A cheap, unfunny affair, The Other Woman plays like the love child of The First Wives Club and 9 to 5. But there's little to love as Manhattan attorney Carly (Cameron Diaz) discovers her businessman boyfriend Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is already married to suburbanite Kate (Leslie Mann). Devastated by his infidelity, Kate turns to Carly for comfort, and the two become unlikely friends during multiple drinking binges. When the ladies learn of Mark's latest infidelity, they track down the clueless mistress, Amber (Kate Upton), and together the trio plot revenge on the serial cheater. Despite a few smart lines and an attractive cast, Woman is a grating and tedious mess. Here's why:
1. Leslie Mann's Histrionics: Kate is supposed to be a sympathetic figure, but Mann's cutesy-ditsy monologues and hysterical crying jags make her far more annoying than endearing. It's too bad, because Mann and Diaz do have some comic chemistry. Unfortunately, that spark gets snuffed out by their shrill bickering.

  The Other Woman 
2. Kate Upton's Lesser Assets: Sure, she looks great running slo-mo on the beach, à la Bo Derek in 10 or the entire cast of Baywatch. But the movie doesn't know what to do with her character, which is partly a blessing since Upton isn't required to do more than play the bimbo.

 The Other Woman
3. Stunt Casting of Nicki Minaj: For some random and distracting reason, the rapper appears as Diaz's sassy assistant. Ms. Minaj doesn't act so much as wag her finger and throw shade.
4. Other Throwaway Roles: As Carly's sensitive new boy toy, Taylor Kinney mostly flashes his bright blue eyes and white teeth. Meanwhile, Don Johnson (!!!) shows up as Carly's dad, a perennially tan letch with a penchant for sheer shirts and younger women. Yeesh.

 The Other Woman
5. The Rambling Storyline: The script bogs down with redundant friendship/breakup beats between Kate and Carly. Also, why doesn't Kate just confront Mark? And what's Carly's stake in all this, since she's no longer dating the cad? The women's revenge doesn't have an end goal until very late in the film.
6. Cheap Crappy Gags: Putting laxative in Mark's drink? So tired. The obligatory long, loud poop scene was done better in Dumb and Dumber and Bridesmaids. At least it's not Mann on the hot seat this time—she had a post-tacos toilet scene in the execrable "comedy" The Change-Up.
7. Too Much Product Placement: The worst offender is Apple, which must have paid big bucks so every character would talk, text, and take selfies with an iPhone.

 The Other Woman
8. Unimaginative Song Choices: The "Mission: Impossible Theme" plays as Kate spies on her hubby. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" underscores their revenge montage, and "New York, New York" accompanies shots of the city skyline. It doesn't get more literal than that.
9. Slapstick That Goes On and On and On: The movie stretches out the silly shtick in desperate attempts to wring laughs. So we see a lot of Kate and Carly body-slamming each other, falling into bushes, and wrestling on the ground. To be fair, Mark's final meltdown is also way overplayed.

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